Reluctant to Join the Army

When his son refused to get a job, the father insisted he join the Army.

At the induction physical, the doctor directed the reluctant naked recruit > to read the eye chart across the room.

"What chart?" the young man asked.

"The one on the wall," the doctor said.

"What wall?"

Sensing he had a deadbeat on his hands, the doctor asked his beautiful > nurse to walk in naked.

"What do you see now?"

"Nothing."

"Well, you may not see anything," the doctor said, "but your 'indicator' > is pointing toward Fort Jackson!"

"Welcome to the Army, son."

The Dead Mule

Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Moultrie Observer newspaper up in Moultrie , GA and bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.

The next morning the farmer drove up and said, 'Sorry fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night.'

Curtis & Leroy replied, 'Well, then just give us our money back.'

The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already'

They said, 'Ok, then, just bring us the dead mule.'

The farmer asked, 'What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?

Curtis said, ' We're gonna raffle him off.'

The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead mule!'

Leroy said, 'We shore can, Heck, we don't havta tell nobody he's dead.'

A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked, 'What'd you fellers ever do
with that dead mule?'

They said, 'We raffled him off like we said we wus gonna do.

Leroy said, 'Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars a piece.We made a profit of $898.'

The farmer said, 'My Lord, didn't anyone complain?'

Curtis said, Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back.'

Curtis and Leroy now work for the government.

They're overseeing the "Bailout Program."