Gentle thoughts for today.

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
>
A penny saved is a government oversight.
>
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
>
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
>
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
>
He who hesitates is probably right.
>
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."
>
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
>
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
>
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
>
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
>
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs?"
>
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.