Police comments

These 16 police comments were taken off
actual police car videos from around the country:

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder
than the one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because
they're new. They'll stretch after you wear
them a while."

#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll
make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll
be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going?
I guess that means I can write anything I want
to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor,
but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that
I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm
warning you not to do that again or I'll give you
another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse
a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen,
fair is a place where you go to ride on rides,
eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in
monkey crap."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets
and my wife gets a toaster oven"

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you
say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore.
We used to, but now we're allowed to write as
many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police)
]Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you
know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
You're right, we don't, please sign here.....