How Now Blue Cow

The place I post funnies, so they can be deleted from my email.....

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Police comments

These 16 police comments were taken off
actual police car videos from around the country:

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder
than the one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because
they're new. They'll stretch after you wear
them a while."

#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll
make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll
be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going?
I guess that means I can write anything I want
to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor,
but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that
I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm
warning you not to do that again or I'll give you
another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse
a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen,
fair is a place where you go to ride on rides,
eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in
monkey crap."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets
and my wife gets a toaster oven"

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you
say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore.
We used to, but now we're allowed to write as
many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police)
]Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you
know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
You're right, we don't, please sign here.....

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