NEW US STOCK MARKET TERMS

>
> CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
>
> CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
>
> BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to
> mistake himself for a financial genius.
>
> BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no
> allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
>
> VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
>
> P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as
> the market keeps crashing.
>
> BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
>
> STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
>
> STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
>
> STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your
> assets equally between themselves.
>
> MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
>
> CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down
> the toilet.
>
> YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for
> $240 per share.
>
> WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who
> bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
>
> INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up
> in a nuthouse.
>
> PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.