Actual call center conversations!

Yeah, you've probably seen these before, particularly the last one. Be we forewarned. You will find it difficult to keep from laughing.

>>> Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get

>>> through; can you help?'

>>> Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?'

>>> Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'

>>> Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.'

>>>

>>> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

>>>

>>> Samsung Electronics

>>> Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'

>>> Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking

>>> about.'

>>> Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states

>>> that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and

>>> telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for

>>> Jack?'

>>>

>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

>>>

>>> Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )

>>> 'If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I

>>> have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'

>>>

>>> --------------------------------------------- -------------------------

>>>

>>> Directory Enquiries

>>> Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'

>>> Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the

>>> spelling is correct?'

>>> Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell

>>> off.'

>>>

>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

>>>

>>> Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

>>> Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'

>>> Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in

>>> Scotland '

>>>

>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

>>>

>>> On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone

>>> box told a worried operator:

>>> 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number

>>> on.'

>>>

>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

>>>

>>> Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'

>>> Customer: 'OK.'

>>> Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'

>>> Customer: 'No.'

>>> Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'

>>> Customer: 'No.'

>>> Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up

>>> until this point?'

>>> Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote

>>> 'click'.'

>>>

>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

>>>

>>> Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen,

>>> can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'

>>> Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'

>>>

>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

>>>

>>> Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized

>>> that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I

>>> get my file back again?'

>>>

>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

>>>

>>> This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this

>>> guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from

>>> the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording

>>> monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help

>>> Desk employee was fired;

>>> however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for

>>> 'Termination without Cause.'

>>>

>>> Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.

>>> (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

>>>

>>> Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

>>> Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

>>> Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

>>> Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the

>>> words went away.'

>>> Operator: 'Went away?'

>>> Caller: 'They disappeared.'

>>> Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

>>> Caller: 'Nothing.'

>>> Operator: 'Nothing??'

>>> Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

>>> Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'

>>> Caller: 'How do I tell?'

>>> Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??'

>>> Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

>>> Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

>>> Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept

>>> anything I type.'

>>> Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

>>> Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

>>> Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a

>>> TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'

>>> Caller: 'I don't know.'

>>> Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find

>>> where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

>>> Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

>>> Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's

>>> plugged into the wall.

>>> Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

>>> Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that

>>> there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'

>>> Caller: 'No.'

>>> Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again

>>> and find the other cable.'

>>> Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

>>> Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely

>>> into the back of your computer.'

>>> Caller: 'I can't reach.'

>>> Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is??'

>>> Caller: 'No.'

>>> Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way

>>> over??'

>>> Caller: 'Well, it' s not because I don't have the right angle --

>>> it's because it's dark.'

>>> Operator: 'Dark??'

>>> Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have

>>> is coming in from the window.'

>>> Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

>>> Caller: 'I can't.'

>>> Operator: 'No? Why not??'

>>> Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

>>> Operator: 'A power .. A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it

>>> licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff

>>> that your computer came in??'

>>> Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

>>> Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up

>>> just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you

>>> bought it from.'

>>> Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

>>> Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

>>> Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'

>>> Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!'