Truisms.

1. Can you cry under water?

2. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky
dunk."

3. How important does a person have to be before they are considered to
be assassinated instead of just murdered?

4. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

5. Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a penny
for your thoughts"? Who's been pocketing that extra penny?

6. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?

7. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

8. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would
be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

9. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake
up like every two hours?

10. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing'?

11. Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

12. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?

13. How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for
Miss America?

14. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

15. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting
clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up
in the first place!

16. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could
simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

17. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you
haven't fallen asleep yet.

18. Just remember.... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

19. Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they
can in prison?

20. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have
started with something called labour!

21. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.