For the Golfers Out There

A gushy reporter told Jack Nicklaus, "You are spectacular; your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What's your secret?"

Nicklaus replied, "The holes are numbered"
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A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3 the priest asks, what are you going to use on this hole my son?"

The young man says, "An 8-iron, father. How about you?"

The priest says," I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."

The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green.

The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.

The young man says, "I don't know about you father, but in my church when we pray, we keep our head down."
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An American went to Scotland and played golf with a newly acquainted Scottish golfer. After a bad tee shot, h e played a "Mulligan" which was an extremely good one. He then asked the Scot, "What do you call a Mulligan in Scotland?"

We call it hitting 3."
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Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man.

The detective! Asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?" "Yes" says the woman.

"Did you hit him with that golf club?"

"Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her, hands on her face.

"How many times did you hit him?"

I don't know, five, six, maybe seven times, just put me down for a five."
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A golfer gets up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his 3-wood, he took another mighty swing; th e ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.

As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter saw him coming and asked, "Are you a good golfer", to which the man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?"
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The bride came down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.

She said:" What are your golf clubs doing here"?
He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"