Dead Duck

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she

lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened

to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly

and said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The

distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?”Yes, I am sure. The duck is

dead," he replied. “How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean,

you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a

coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the

room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind

legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the

duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook

his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few

moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also

sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on

its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the

room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I

said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and

produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner,

still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my

duck is dead!!

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill

would have been $20 but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's

now $150.00.