English Cricket

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman putting on sunscreen.

Q. What would Glenn McGrath be if he was English?
A. An all rounder.

Q. What is the main function of the England coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Q. What's the English version of a hat trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. Why don't English fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.

Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten and Walloped.

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What does "ASHES" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrendous English Series.

Q. What do English batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.