Some giggles to start your day ------------

STORIES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH:



Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said,

"So why is the groom wearing black?"




A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell -- getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late . . . But please don't shove me either!"




Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper -- he calls it a poem; they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper -- he calls it a song; they give him $100."

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper -- he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"




An elderly woman died last month. Having never married,

she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten

instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They

Wouldn't take me out while I was alive -- I don't want them

to take me out when I'm dead.




A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would

you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said,

"Call for backup."




A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph

and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small

child replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."



A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten

Commandments with her five- and six-year-olds. After

explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and

thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that

teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy answered,

"Thou shall not kill."



At Sunday School they were teaching how God created

everything, including human beings. Little Johnny

Seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve

was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week

his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill,

and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny

responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife ."





Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after

hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the

Other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"

The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus

turned out. It's probably just your Dad."